Stuff off the chest and released from the mind.

I haven't written or anything in a long time. I guess it's time to do so. Everyone makes mistakes. As for me, I make the same one over and over. With this last one I have to deal with the biggest consequence. I lost the love of my life. I'm only 18, but I believed in it. I recently saw the comedian Russell Peters live here in Austin. He started talking about how he was just married a couple months ago. He said he knew he was with the right woman because of the way she could calm him. "You know you're with the right person when they can do something no one else can and calm you down when you're pissed. I mean all the others I'd be like 'Fuck I'm gonna kill someone!' and the girl would be like ' YEAH let's go fuck shit up" Haha. And the past week or so thoughts have been rushed into my head of all the memories. Maybe it's God's way of punishing me for every wrong I've done. Lose my love and then get tortured with memories that I wish were false. I can finally say that I have regrets. I hate still having these lingering feelings. It's such a fucking bitch. The only thing I do is wash these memories away with tons of alcohol haha. You know should've and could've questions are just ways to make you feel shitty, yet I still ask myself these questions every single god damn day.